January 2023
18. My soul knows the way
It surprised me how little time I took to write and translate my first two books.
When I started the third book of my trilogy, I felt resistance. Well, I sometimes felt that with the other books too, then I had to (emotionally) go through something. Tricky, but not a problem. This time, however, it was different.
The third book is about something that is not yet. "A New World" is about a world, where all people are partially or even mostly healed from their emotional wounds and thereby discover who they really are and can live freely from within. That world is coming, I am convinced, but it is not here yet.
And that was the first thing that made it difficult for me to write. Fantasy, the creation from our souls, has always been dismissed with me as something that would be foolish. In itself, that wound has healed, but I found it not so simple to fantasise about a world that is coming but is not yet... what will it be like? Is it bad if I am wrong here and there in my fantasy? After a few days, I figured out, that wouldn't be a problem at all!
Still, I didn't manage to continue writing. Apparently, there was more...
In November and December, I did write a few chapters and experienced that they hung together like loose sand, and I didn't know how to change that. Very frustrating!
I more or less let it go. That is, I hung my digital pen on the willows and filled my days with other things: watching docu's and interviews, and crafting in the meantime. And reading, lovely!
And of course, in between, my thoughts regularly returned to the work I had temporarily put down.
About a week ago, something special happened...
My complete collection of Nora Roberts' books had come to an end. Yes really, I had read all over 200 of her books, with great pleasure!
And now? I still have a lot of unread books (once browsing all kinds of second-hand shops), but when you have been so 'stuck' to one author, it is a bit difficult to choose another.
I chose a huge thick book of short stories by Roald Dahl. Bizarre, unusual stories, stories that touched me.
I got a bit restless and started looking in my book collection for books by another writer, books I could alternate Dahl's stories with. And so I came upon a stack of books by Maeve Bincy. This stack of books also contains short stories. So I ended up with short stories again. I decided to just alternate between the two writers.
William, my soulmate, likes to watch a movie in the evening. Last week, while I was reading short stories, he had a film that consisted of 'short stories', in other words a series of small films that somehow made up one whole.
Afterwards, we sat for a while, talking about my third book. I told him that I struggled with the fact that there were so many characters in it, which meant I didn't know how to make it one whole. Talking, asking ourselves and each other questions (even asking if there should be a third book at all...), we discovered that our souls had led us to something new, a new path.
The third book would become a collection of stories, with each story being about one or two of the children of the characters from the first two books.
So in hindsight, it was right that I hadn't managed to make it one. That was not the intention at all!
It amazed us again,
how our soul knows so precisely,
what we need,
what it takes to get us to the right point!
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